Lesbians Love: Few Chances. . . Wrong Choices
By Chetz Yusof

How many times in your life have you had the chance to do something great or meet a potential partner but then you screwed up by doing or saying something wrong or even made the wrong choice?

For example, you met a gorgeous girl (whom you were so sure is THE ONE - your soulmate), you decided to approach her only to say the wrong things that turned her off.

Somebody wrote,

“When we meet the right person to love. When we're at the right place at the right time, that's chance.”

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance.

The difference is what happens afterwards.

When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?

That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with the person's faults, that's not a chance. That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice we make.”

Nicely written words. I would like to say here that from my observation, many gay women (especially butches) miss the chance to meet their Ms. Right or soulmate.

Why? Because most of them stay too long with someone they “wish” were their Ms. Right but somewhere in their hearts they know she isn’t the one. This happens because it is more convenient to stay on in a dead-end relationship rather than to follow what your heart knows is right. It’s as if we are afraid to be happy.

Then there are some of them who have actually met their Ms. Right, but then they made bad choices while in the relationship and lost their soulmate.

Some people say, “If we’re meant to be with each other, it’ll happen”. For Malays, there’s this saying, “Kalau jodoh tak ke mana”.

I believe that at some point we will have the chance to meet our soulmate (or jodoh), but what you do when you meet her, it’s all up to you.

Let be honest, I’m sure most of us have some kind of idea as to what we’d like our soul mate to be like. Preferably with a beautiful face, loving, passionate, and soft-spoken are some the desired traits, am I right? Well, some butches might add nice breasts or butt ;) Anyway, my question is do you know what to do when you meet her? From my observation, most butches don’t.

Do they know why most of the time they were rejected or played out by the femmes? I believe they don’t.

Do they do anything to understand why they were always rejected or always met the wrong women? They might ask their butch friends, but these friends also don’t have a clue on how to attract the women they want and femmes also played some of them.

Wrong action. But don’t worry, I totally understand because I made the same mistake by discussing and asking advice from my friends who also are not successful in attracting the women they want.

But I’m clever enough to believe in Einstein. He said, “Insanity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting different results”. I’m not insane. I choose not to be.

So, I started to read books and articles on magazine and the Internet because I couldn’t find a single person whom I know who is successful in attracting their soulmate or successful in their relationship.

I’m so fortunate that it wasn’t too late for me to realize this. When I met my soulmate, I didn’t blow my chance.

So, I urge all the butches out there to stop for a while and think about what you’ve been doing to attract the girl you want or to have and retain a happy relationship with your respective girlfriends.

If what you’ve been doing isn’t working and you’re not happy, realize that you have to do something different. I’m not telling you to break up with your partners right now if you’re unhappy, but instead would like to tell you to look for the answers. Search for ways do be a better partner and learn from those who are successful in their relationships. If you don’t change, it’ll happen again and again and again – and that is insanity.

Someone said that luck is actually opportunity meet with preparation.

Not feeling lucky? Maybe now it’s time to change.

Chetz Yusof is the author of the free e-book Guide To Your Type – A Gay Woman’s Guide To Knowing Herself And Others and an engineer by profession. Find how she can help you re-engineer your life at http://www.kampungbutch.com plus receive free e-books and tips on starting and sustaining successful relationships.

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